


Taste Your Beating Heart

by Zonela358



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, Body Horror, M/M, More additional tags to be added, eating problems, feral sora, riku is trying to prevent anti from possessing sora, sora eats heartless, this is also horror-esque
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-05-28 05:48:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19387771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zonela358/pseuds/Zonela358
Summary: The light had been so immensely abused, it collapsed in on itself. His heart’s screaming desire to release all the darkness Sora had accidentally repressed had broken loose. It all happened too quickly for him to fight against it—he felt his body sigh with an unsavory relief as his mind went dark. It felt like he was drowning in thick ink. It was a familiar sensation, almost like falling asleep, but with a gluttonous sweet taste left lingering in his mouth.***Anti form has slowly been possessing Sora due to its hunger for hearts, and Riku is doing whatever he can to prevent things from getting worse.





	1. A Feast of Demons

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is based on a piece of fanart by the magnificent Tama (@sokairikuu) over on Twitter! We started having a very feral conversation in the comments and it inspired me to write this piece! I don't know how many chapters it will be yet, but probably between five and ten.
> 
> You can see the image here: https://twitter.com/sokairikuu/status/1143224254277644291)  
> Also, this fanfiction is a bit on the horror-esque side, with anti form possessing Sora and wanting to devour heartless. So, just be cautious.
> 
> This is also my first time posting on here, so please let me know of any tags I should add and whatnot. I don't know what I am doing haha.
> 
> Please let me know of any grammar mistakes I might have made and any suggestions you have. I am always looking to improve my work and writing skill.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

It only took one mistake for everything to plummet downhill.

None of the heartless surrounding them were strong enough to withstand more than a single blow of the keyblade, but their numbers were increasing faster than the two wielders could handle. These shadows were going to use everything in their power to keep the core of the demon tower safe from destruction, for as long as the core remained, so would their hived mind.

Sora breathed heavily as the struggle carved itself deep into his aching bones. This was getting them nowhere and the continuing additions of emblem heartless certainly wasn’t helping. He knew what he had to do. His drive forms—a formidable power that was always right at his fingertips. All he had to do was call for it, drag the light from his keyblade into his body.

He tightened his grip around the handle as he shouted his usual command, “Light!” But a strike like black lightning hit his strained heart and he felt his own shadow begin to possess his skin from the toes up.

The light had been so immensely abused, it collapsed in on itself. His heart’s screaming desire to release all the darkness Sora had accidentally repressed had broken loose. It all happened too quickly for him to fight against it—he felt his body sigh with an unsavory relief as his mind went dark. It felt like he was drowning in thick ink. It was a familiar sensation, almost like falling asleep, but with a gluttonous sweet taste left lingering in his mouth.

***

Riku froze as his gaze locked onto the sight. Sora’s eyes were glowing the same haunting yellow and his body was consumed in the same sickening darkness as the demons before them. Sora’s body twitched in a disfiguring kind of motion as he fell down to all fours, digging into the ground with newly formed claws; all the while, his pores and nails emitted a black, ribbon-like fog. 

“Sora!” he cried out. As his body readied itself to rush to his side, Sora launched himself at one of the purebloods before Riku could so much as lift his heal off the ground. In a blink of an eye, he bore his way into the creature’s chest and then tore it in half. As the shadow’s two halves disintegrated into dust, Sora began vehemently biting at the air where the remains drifted away.

Riku watched his glowing eyes flicker and dart its gaze around the room, almost as if it was in a raged panic, before diving towards a soldier heartless. Sora slowly scratched at the symbol on its chest with a burgeoning curiosity. He held the soldier tightly in his free hand as he continued to scratch faster and faster as the thing squirmed with anguish. Until finally, its armored shell broke open and to Riku’s horror, Sora reached inside and grabbed its crystal, pink heart. Without hesitation, he began to crush the small object between his fingers and the cracks that formed began to ooze a black liquid. Sora held it above his head and opened his mouth greedily, sloppily catching the droplets and swallowing them.

Riku had never witnessed this before nor did he ever imagine his limited time as a heartless would etch such an endless vast of darkness onto Sora’s heart. He needed to reach him. He needed to snap him out of it and peal the darkness off him. But with each attempt to step forward, more heartless clung to his feet and began to tear apart the surface layers of his skin like paper shredders. He was able to slash them away, but no matter how many annihilated, they just kept piling up in front of him. It didn’t help that his aim wasn’t on point for his eyes were glued to his partner, completely horrified by the feasting Sora was doing. 

Sora, seeming frustrated by the lack of releasing hearts, began to grab at the plentiful shadows that blocked his way from the emblem heartless. One by one, he bit right into them, sucking them dry for whatever they were worth before they vanished.

He would snarl rabidly if he couldn’t finish off one of the purebloods completely. But his whines of delight whenever he took hold of an actual heart and the sound of his salivating slurps stained Riku’s ears. The noise played on repeat in his head like a broken record and it was enough to make him go mad. He began to hack away at the enemies before him in a heated dread as he let out a scream. He was just out of Sora’s reach and it felt like he was being pushed further away.

He halted mid swing, beginning to realize the futility of his efforts. He took a deep breath as he steadied himself and repositioned his fighting stance. His brows furrowed as he shot his eyes open. He thrust his keyblade into the air as he kicked off into a run with one heal. Careful not to hit Sora, the tip of his weapon glowed gold as he shouted, “Thunder!” and a summoned strike came barreling down to the ground, vaporizing anything in its wake.

Despite depleting his magic, this left an opening straight to Sora. With each step, he felt himself gain speed. He stretched out his free hand, hoping the spiky-haired boy would take it, but to his misfortune a hook bat plunged towards him. As hastily as he could, he cut the heartless down, but before he could turn his head back, Sora snatched the heart before it could float too far away. He pinched the bottom of it with the claws of his index finger and thumb, and stared at it with wide eyes, tilting his head as if he was studying it. Then, he opened his mouth as wide as he could, revealing his abnormally sharp canines. With a snap of his jaw, he crushed the top half of the heart, forcing the black liquid to gush everywhere. He chewed fiercely and the crunching sounded like he was eating glass mixed with tar.

“Sora! Stop!” Riku repeated, but Sora’s distracting motives rained heavier over the sound of Riku’s voice.

Then, the ground shook underneath Riku’s feet and within milliseconds, he found himself being tossed across the room by a powerful, sweeping force. He landed straight on his hip with a harsh thud, electrocuting a sharp pain all throughout the side of his body. He winced as he clutched the injury tightly. Then, a small reflected light caught his eye and he noticed his keyblade laying on the ground not too far from him. Using his free hand, he reached for it, but just like Sora, it was just out of his grasp. All he needed to do was concentrate for it to summon back into his palm, but Sora’s growls took his focus hostage.

His icy, turquoise eyes locked onto Sora who leaped at the demon tide and began to dig his way through the array of heartless protecting the core. He kept his claws buried into the creatures closer to the edges to keep himself latched onto the monster. Then, he used his teeth to savagely tear large pieces of flesh off the creatures that were gathered right in front of the core. The second it was exposed, Sora bore his fangs and clamped down before more enemies could cover it back up. He gnawed at it vigorously, leaving puncture holes in it that bled a thick, red hued liquid that was tinged with the color of charcoal. Despite his face being mostly hidden by shadows, Sora’s expression was nothing short of utter bliss and need.

Then, by some stretch of a miracle, Riku felt a prickle of light touch his palm and his widened as he fixed his grip around the handle. He forced himself off the ground, biting down on his lip in hopes of shutting out the pain from the rest of his body. He jumped and pulled his keyblade back in a winding motion behind his head before slashing clean through the core.

A cloud of darkness exploded out of it, pushing them both back violently before it recoiled on itself, sucking in all the remaining heartless and imploding. Riku was barely able to land on his feet, stumbling as he tried to balance himself with his bad hip.

Riku breathed heavily as he remained in his fighting position. Sora’s body laid on the ground across the room, completely still. Riku’s heart pounded against his ribs as his fear and concern battled each other. But then, a wave of light washed over Sora—the darkness melted off him and back into the shadow under his body where it belonged. 

He didn’t even bother to de-summon his keyblade—he just dropped it and ran towards the brunet. He fell to his knees and shouted, “Sora? Sora!” He shook violently, praying for some response.

Sora slowly opened his eyes, but he seemed in a daze. The deep blue color of his eyes had trickled through his pupils, making them barely visible. Riku then pulled Sora up into and sitting position and tilted his head to get a better view of his gaze. He shook him once more, but this time, in a gentler manner. “Sora…?” he said his name with such a tender worry that it seemed to finally reach his heart. 

***

Sora fluttered his lashes as the light pierced his eyes like daggers. He squinted and saw a blurry image of Riku and he heard his muffled voice. He felt like he was underwater, in the deepest part of the ocean where the pressure is enough to crush someone’s skull. 

“Riku?” he asked as he felt his partner lift his body upwards and plant his feet on the ground. “What happened?” He felt a wave of dizziness crash into him and he clutched his head in fear it might roll straight off his neck.

“I thought you might be able to tell me that,” Riku said. The sharpness of his tone stung, but the fright that followed his voice left Sora with more questions than answers.

As the fog in his head thinned, he felt his body slowly come to ease. He blinked and stared down at his stomach, a smile creeping onto his cheeks. “Wow. This will sound odd, but I feel really full?” He felt so incredibly satisfied—it was unlike any pleasure he had felt before. “Whatever I ate must have been really good, though I can’t really remember what it was.” He licked his lips and tasted a hint of a candy-like sweetness—an addictive sugar that made it impossible to just eat one. He wanted more. 

When Sora looked up however, his smile transformed into a confused one at Riku’s profuse sweating and shocked expression that gave him dark circles under his eyes. He grabbed ahold of Sora’s shoulders, but instead of speaking, he just squealed out a random assortment of noises.

A nervous chuckle escaped his lips as he said, “What is it, Riku?” But now that Riku was closer to him, Sora finally took notice—he was practically torn to shreds from head to toe, with swelling purple bruises eating away at different spots on his body. Without another thought, Sora shouted, “Heal!” and with a burst of light over Riku’s head, a flower bloomed. Its petals and vines swirled downwards around Riku, working like needles and thread to sew him back together. Some of the petals fell onto Sora as well, its magnificence washing away the few light wounds he had. But with this curing cleansing, Sora found his stomach to suddenly feel empty. It… hurt.

The oddness of it all occurred to Sora. The large gap between the amount of their injuries, Sora practically blinking the way the entire battle with no memory to combat his questions, and his stomach. Cure… Why did it empty him like that? He felt so hungry—starving even. This fevering ache made his entire body feel set ablaze, all the while a flood was bursting in his mouth.

He leaned into Riku, resting his forehead against his chest. He sighed. “Can we go get some ice cream?”

He heard, or rather felt, Riku let out a short snicker. “I thought you said you were full?” Why was he laughing at that? Sora _was_ full and he wished it had remained that way.

Sora let out a childish groan. “Whatever, I just want ice cream,” he said. Then, he lifted his head and he scratched his cheek in a cutesy way. “Think of it as a celebration. For overcoming this battle. And maybe you can tell me about what happened when I blacked out as we eat?”

To Sora’s dismay, Riku’s face stiffened at that question. As he opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, Riku cut in, “R-right. Don’t worry about the battle, Sora. You just… took a heavy hit to the head. That’s all. It gave me quite a scare. It doesn’t seem too bad though.” Riku brushed a hand through Sora’s spiky hair playfully.

“Oh,” Sora said, forcing out a short laugh. He glanced down at his feet. His head _was_ throbbing a little when he woke up, so he guessed that made sense. But what about his stomach? Did he just imagine that?

Then, he felt the weight of Riku’s hand on his shoulder and he looked back up to see his gentle and warm smile. “Come on, let’s go get you that ice cream,” he said as he playfully rolled his eyes.

Sora let out a giggle as he ducked behind Riku and proceeded to jump onto his back. Riku caught him of course, his reflexes acting fast to lock his arms around Sora’s legs. “Onward!” Sora shouted as he pointed straight in front of them! “Scrooge’s place?” he asked.

Riku gave a gleeful nod as they made their way towards the reconstructing town of Hallow Bastion.


	2. A Hallow Taste

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am glad to see that so many people are enjoying this! This has been super fun to write and I can't wait to continue it further!!
> 
> Let me know if you guys spot any grammar errors or anything of the sort!!
> 
> Thank you for reading~

It wasn’t too long of a walk, which thank goodness for that because Riku wasn’t sure if he could carry Sora much longer. Though, he didn’t complain, especially not after… _that_. He was more than happy to see Sora back to normal. His heart did feel heavy for lying, but he didn’t want to paint Sora’s imagination with grim reflections of himself. As long as he kept a close eye on him and ensured that it never happened again, he knew all would be well.

“Two sea salt ice creams, please,” Riku said to the vender as he nudged Sora to climb down. He handed the man a handful of small, yellow diamonds in exchange for the all too familiar blue dessert bars. He thanked him before handing one off to Sora. “Let’s go ahead and sit over there. Sound good?” he asked as he pointed to the steps on the other side of the market square.

Sora nodded giddily as he popped the bar into his mouth and skipped his way over there. Riku took a deep breath through his nose and exhaled it out in a relaxing manner, letting the fresh air fill him with relief. Sora was fine.

***

Odd, there was no flavor. The normally rich taste of the ice cream would have overtaken his taste buds by now, giving him the back and forth satisfaction of the opposing savory and sweetness. But there was nothing. Sora pulled the stick out of his mouth and eyed the now deformed bar.

Without thinking, he then took a large bite out of it, which of course only got Riku to stutter and nag, “Hey, you’ll get a brain freeze!”

Ignoring him, Sora swallowed the chunk, but it felt like light smoke going down his throat. He could feel it, but only just barely. When it landed in his stomach, it felt as though he had just drank a small cup of water. There was no substantial weight to it and the feeling vanished nearly as quickly as he felt it. Growing frustrated, he downed the rest of the ice cream, hoping to feel some tinge of fullness. But alas, there was nothing. He glared down at the blank stick, not even a winner.

“Sora, are you feeling okay?” Riku asked.

“Will you buy me another one?” Sora asked, disregarding the previous question.

He blinked with his mouth slightly hanging open. “Are you serious? I can barely handle one of these things, why do you want more.”

Sora scrunched his lips together and pouted, crossing his arms over his knees. “I said I was hungry, didn’t I?”

Riku gave him a look, his eyes filling with a phobia-like doubt. It made Sora feel smaller, almost as if he was being crushed by a gravity spell. He felt so remarkably self-conscious that his heart twisted into a shameful knot. He just wanted to eat—why was Riku staring uneasy, hidden daggers at him?

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Riku dropped his head and let out an exacerbated breath. “Fine, I’ll do it, but don’t complain to me if your stomach hurts later.” He stood and Sora watched him walk back over to the vender.

He put a hand over his belly and slowly blinked his gaze downwards. Maybe he got unlucky? Maybe his ice cream wasn’t made properly. “Yeah…” he muttered to himself. “That must be it.” Surely this rapacious hunger would fade.

Or at least, that’s what he thought. He quickly lost track of how many desserts he scarfed down—he wasn’t even sure what flavor some of them were. He got to the point where he didn’t care what it was, he just wanted something, _anything_ , to properly fill him.

After one final bite, he froze. His hands were shaking and his teeth rattled together in complete panic. He shot himself forward, wrapping his arms around his stomach as he curled towards his legs. The burning pain of starvation tattooed itself into his intestines. His stomach was churning, digesting, but the illusioned emptiness made him feel as though the gastric acid was scorching him from the inside out.

He felt a delicate hand touch his shoulder, which made his body twitch in fright for a second. “Are you okay?” Riku asked as he began to rub his hand in circles across Sora’s back. “I tried to warn you.” Despite his voice being smooth like a lullaby’s melody, the way it clashed with Sora’s ears made it sound more like nails in a blender.

“That’s not it…” he choked out. His vision was swirling and he could feel the beads of sweat multiply as they raced down his skin.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Riku shift his position and kneel down in front of him. Riku softly cradled Sora’s chin between his bent index finger and his thumb, slowly pushing his head. Sora averted his gaze away from those chilling irises. Riku placed the back of his free hand against Sora’s forehead, which the cool touch made Sora flinch.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Sora said. “I can’t… taste anything. I can’t feel anything when I eat it. I know I am full, but I don’t _feel_ full.” Sora let himself plop forward into Riku’s shoulder. He loved how sturdy he was.

Riku briefly hummed in thought as he wrapped his arms around Sora. He was silent for an unusual amount of time before he finally said, “Maybe your head injury isn’t as minor as I thought.”

“What do you mean?”

“It is possible that the damage you took affected one of your senses.”

Sora sat up straight, which made Riku’s hands slide onto his shoulders. “You think so?”

Riku shrugged. “I am not sure what else it could be.”

Sora stared blankly at him for a moment. Those words sounded off. Riku still spoke the same, but the way his voice carried through the air felt weighed down like a prisoner dragging their ball and chain across a courtyard. Though, as if Riku sensed his oncoming question, he continued,

“Come on. We should be heading back soon. We have another long day of missions ahead of us.” He pushed himself to his feet as he stretched out his arms above his head. He then held out his hand and Sora hesitantly took it.

Blood rushed to his head, making his vision fill with black and purple spots. He felt dizzy, clutching Riku’s hand tighter to make up for his lack of balance. Black… Something about that color shot something to the front of his mind, but it wasn’t a memory. It was more of a feeling, a _taste_. A carving began to bubble on the tip of his tongue, but sensation led him nowhere with what it could be.

“Sora,” Riku said. “You seriously don’t look well. Maybe I should take you in to see Yen Sid.”

Sora shook his head, the color returning to his world. “No, no. I just stood up to fast. Besides,” he said, shooting a smile at Riku, “I probably just need to sleep it off.”

***

Riku knew they should have left for Traverse Town nearly an hour ago, but he just couldn’t bare to wake Sora up. Though, it wasn’t because of the normal, tranquil expression he rested into. No, it was quite the opposite. There were dark circles under his tightly shut eyes and he looked like something was choking him. He stayed close to him, even tried to wake up him up a few times to see if he was okay, but Sora just mumbled off Riku’s worries and kept sleeping.

It didn’t help that the weight of his lying had left a deep gash in his heart. Even all the blood in his body carried a heavier thickness than before. He should have just told him. Sora was stronger than he was given credit for, but Riku’s memory stored every second of that event against his will, forcing him to witness it all over again every time he blinked.

He leaned his cheek down on his fist as he watched the last of the warm colors of the sunrise wash out of the sky. The thoughts of Sora’s hunger bounced painfully in his skull. Why would he want to eat heartless? No, that wasn’t quite right. He was after the hearts they entrapped inside their dark existences. His face slowly tightened into an expression filled with determination. He would tell Sora when the time was right, but for the meantime, he would safeguard Sora on the battlefield. If he ensured the enemies never got as out of control as they did previously, then Sora would have no need to use his drive forms.

Then he heard the sound of dragging feet and he smirked. “You took your sweet time waking up,” Riku teased as Sora yawned widely.

“Sorry,” Sora said. He wiped the singular tear droplet out of his eye before sitting down next to Riku.

He then rubbed his hand on top of Sora’s messy, tangled hair. “Nice bed head,” he said.

Sora batted him away with flailing arms, his eyes still shut as if he was sleep walking. “Hm, shut up.”

Riku chuckled. “So, feeling better?”

Sora slowly opened his eyes, but kept his gaze locked onto the floor. He shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess so? My stomach still feels empty though.”

Riku’s mouth titled to the side in thoughtful frustration. He stood and began to put together a bowl of cereal for Sora. He wasn’t sure if it was going to do much, but maybe Sora just needed something simple to ease him away from yesterday.

When he placed the bowl in front of Sora however, he only stared at it. There was an indescribable look to Sora’s expression. His ocean filled eyes looked drained, transforming into a barren desert. His scrunched eyebrows screamed a disappointment Riku couldn’t recognize.

“Sora?” he asked.

The spiky hair boy blinked out of it and shook his head. “Sorry, did you say something?”

“N-no. I was just thinking you should eat. To retain your energy.” He paused. “Listen, if you aren’t up for today—”

“No, no!” Sora said, waving his hands in front of his face. “I am fine. I am just… still waking up.” He then lifted the spoon and began eating, but still, each movement of his jaw seemed hesitant.

Once they were both dressed and ready to go, they boarded the gummi ship they were borrowing from the King and began to make their way to Traverse Town. Sora asked Riku to drive, even though he loved to pilot the ship to the point where he would steal the wheel right out of Donald’s hands (or anyone’s for that matter). The fact that Sora felt more comfortable taking the backseat today made Riku’s heart seize.

There was nothing too severe going on over there unlike Hallow Bastion, but they were still requested to clear out some heartless. They landed in the usual spot before making their way to the First District. Normally, the cool night air with the tinkling stars above them would put Riku at ease. It was such a quaint little town, truly perfect for those looking for a new home. But tonight, he felt his steady uneasiness from the timeless night they were trapped it. Almost as if morning would never come.

Riku reread their instructions and led Sora to the Second District. People staying in the hotel said they saw small monsters picking away at the town’s bell again.

Though, not to Riku’s surprise, the little cretins had scattered themselves all over the area, popping up wherever they sensed a human heart. A sharp streak of light and darkness shot from Riku’s palm his keyblade materialized. He swiftly lunged into a red nocturne, vanishing immediately as Riku stabbed straight through its floating body. The usual crystalline heart emitted from the destruction, but what Riku saw out of the corner of his eye nearly made his heart rupture.

***

Sora’s eyes widened with gluttonous fervor. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as his mouth watered erratically. He couldn’t stop gawking at transcending heart. The way it danced in the air as the light reflected off its glass-like edges was so hypnotic. He never noticed before, but they still had a throbbing heartbeat to them, even though it was slow and weak. 

A calling in the back of his mind told him to reach out for it. It knew he wanted it. They always looked so weightless, but Sora couldn’t stop imagining what savory heaviness it carried inside. He was envious of that fantasized mass for he wanted it for himself—to relive that euphoric fullness. The sensation of it all made his stomach growl with predatory vigor. 

“SORA!” 

He felt a snap in his brain and he blinked rapidly as he turned to Riku, who had a tight grip on his shoulder. “W-what?” he said. 

“I called out for you several times. Where did your mind wander to?” Riku asked.

Sora glanced upwards. The heart was gone. The released ones never truly stayed for that long, did they? “I—” He wasn’t quite sure what he was thinking, if he was thinking at all. All that was there was the sensation of near satisfaction. He was so close to it… But he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted from it exactly.

“Maybe,” he said, “I should sit this one out.”

A throbbing headache began traveling from the back of his skull to right between his eyes. He could hear his blood pumping in his ears, but the more he listened to it, the less it sounded like pounding and more like a voice. It was faint, but it said,

_Aren’t you hungry?_


	3. Take a Bite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH! Thank you all for the 500+ hits and all the lovely kudos and comments! <3 I hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Sora didn’t want to open his eyes. His head was filled with an unbearable TV static. His own thoughts started to sound like they belonged to a complete stranger—a disoriented, muffled voice that wouldn’t leave the inside of his ears. He could never quite make out what it was saying though, which alone made him feel so out of control of his own mind and body.

It had been a week since he blacked out and the more he questioned Riku’s story, the more his doubt grew like mold behind a damp bed. He was frustrated to the point where he wanted to rip his own hair out. Though, it wasn’t like he had the strength to do it. It was surprising how weak he had gotten in just a few short days.

There was a knock on his bedroom door, but he stayed silent.

“Hey,” Riku said, his voice following the creak of the door. Sora winced, curling his body up in a defensive position. Even the smallest noises felt like someone just hammered a nail right into his skull.

“Sorry,” Riku said. Sora felt a weight land gently on the bed behind him. Fingers began slowly brushing through his sweaty hair—it felt nice. He loved it when Riku touched him like this. Even if it was only for an instant, it distracted him enough for the static to lessen.

“How are you feeling?” Riku asked.

Sora didn’t answer for it would have been the same one he gave a few hours ago. Horrible. Exhausted. _Hungry_. He just groaned as he attempted to shrug laying on his side.

Riku let out a sigh. “Well, I brought some food that’ll be easy on your stomach—”

“I don’t want it.”

Sora was tired of trying to eat. First, it was just an empty experience, then food started having a rotten taste to it, and now, he couldn’t keep anything down. The last time he attempted to eat something, he found himself glued to a bucket for a good hour. He couldn’t even recall a time where he was _this_ ill. It stole whatever energy he had left, which is what forced him into bed after breakfast that morning.

Riku’s hand halted. “Sora, you _need_ to eat.”

“And _you_ need to tell me what’s wrong with me.”

Silence flooded the room. Sora felt Riku’s hand retract from his head, abandoning him to deal with the pain.

“I told you—”

“Nothing,” Sora said, snapping his eyes open to interrupt Riku’s words with a knife-like glare. “You told me _nothing_.”

Riku appeared shocked at first, but then his brows shot downwards. “You hit your head, Sora.” There was something mature about his voice, almost as if he was using it as a ploy to hide his unsteadiness. He wasn’t fooling Sora anymore.

“Really? How then?” Sora forced himself to sit up, so he wouldn’t feel so small with Riku looking down at him like that, but a bullet of pain rushed to his head. He clutched it and a whimper escaped his lips.

“Sora!” Riku said, gripping his shoulders. “Don’t push yourself like—”

“Don’t touch me!” Sora yelled, swatting away his hands. “You’re a liar! Why are you lying to me?” His eyes stung from the tears that began to well up. He buried his chin into his chest, making it impossible for Riku to see his face.

The white noise in his head began clashing with drowned out and unfocused voices, all desperately trying to break through the surface. He wanted it to stop. He wanted it to _stop._

Riku forcibly grabbed hold of Sora’s wrist and pulled it forward. Sora grimaced, but still didn’t look back up.

_Aren’t…_

The voice was grating and shrill as if it was fighting being strangled.

“Listen to me!” Riku snapped.

_You…_

Sora felt so overwhelmed. He couldn’t concentrate on anything. His windpipe felt like it was being tightened with a wrench.

_Hungry…?_

He began breathing rapidly. All he wanted was to eat. Devour. Consume. He felt the world spin around him and his head fell heavy like a bowling ball.

Riku pulled him into his arms and hugged him. “Take a deep breath, Sora,” he said. Sora buried his face into Riku’s shoulder as he tried desperately to ignore his screaming stomach.

His touch was so calming. Sora’s breath steadied and his body loosened. He couldn’t even muster the strength to lift his arms and hug him back. They just hung at his side. All he wanted was to fall asleep—just like this.

Sora could feel Riku’s heartbeat against his own chest. He could nearly hear the blood pumping in Riku’s body as he leaned against him. He began to wash away in the sensation of it all as Riku continued to cradle him.

_Eat…_

His eyes fluttered as his mouth watered. Do heartbeats have a taste? His senses were jumbling and twisting in his brain, turning the sound into a deliciously sweet flavor that rested on the tip of his tongue. His body began shaking as his thoughts swirled with ravenous needs.

_I need more…_

He was giving straight into the distortion. His mouth shivered open as his teeth sank into Riku’s shoulder only to taste one drop of blood before being immediately pushed away.

Riku gripped his forearms tightly as he shook him once. “What are you doing?” he asked, worry with a hint of fright drenching his expression.

In a daze, Sora answered, “I don’t know…”

Riku helped him lay back down, setting his head on the pillow which he instantly sank into. “I promise I’ll find out what’s going on. Just… give me some time.”

Sora’s eyelids felt so heavy and his head filled with a thick fog. He lazily took hold on Riku’s hands, feeling the warmth from his skin—a warmth he wanted to never let go of. There was something that kept calling to Sora. A truth that was right out of his grasp. But with every failed attempt to reach the voice, at least, Riku always fell in its place, giving Sora something to hold onto.

_I’m starving…_

However, this calling was growing harder to tune out. He wanted—needed—to listen, but something deep inside his heart told him he would regret it.

“Will you stay with me? Until I fall asleep?” Sora asked. He wanted the security Riku felt. He didn’t want to be left alone with his waking thoughts.

Riku leaned over and planted a kiss on Sora’s forehead. “Of course.”

***

If the ocean could be set ablaze, that is what Sora’s festering rage would reflect in his eyes. Riku knew how obvious it was and yet, every time he opened his mouth, the truth got caught in his throat. When Sora first opened his eyes, his glare looked like it belonged to a beast doused in shadows, not the boy radiating sunlight that he loved. And it was his fault.

Now, watching him crumble so quickly into a weakening slumber skyrocketed Riku’s guilt. Sora’s body was trembling, but at least his breathing was returning to a normal pace.

But before… was Sora hallucinating? Riku lifted his free hand to his shoulder. He poked at the bite mark only to pull his fingers back as he sharply sucked in air through his teeth. It stung. Were Sora’s teeth always this sharp?

Whatever possessed Sora still had a lingering presence that was gradually making changes to sculpt Sora to its image. Riku knew the feeling all too well. Although, this wasn’t the same as fighting Ansem’s control. Sora’s darkness was so far different from his own that he felt so lost on what to do.

Once Sora was asleep, Riku pecked his cheek with another kiss before slipping out of his limp hand. He made his way to the gummi ship only to sit in the driver’s seat with no clear destination in mind. There were so many people he _could_ turn to—Kairi, Donald, Goofy, Leon—all people Sora loved and trusted. But he struggled to find a reason to drag them all down into this apprehension. Plus, it’s not like they could really do anything to help besides comfort Sora. It was probably better they didn’t see him like this anyway.

Though, he needed to confide in _somebody._ He needed a place that would be safe from outside ears and judgement, all while providing him with the wisdom to get them through this. He grabbed the handles, flying off towards the only secluded tower that fit the bill.

The night sky above him was painted with the familiar swirling violet and blue galaxies filled with beaming stars that illuminated nearly every corner of the floating island. Despite the world being in a permanent time of day, the stars were in constant fluctuation.

He entered the tower’s entrance and climbed up its spiral staircase until he reached Master Yen Sid’s study. He reached for the door handle before pulling back a little. He still had no idea what he was going to say. _Yes, hello Master. I watched Sora turn into a monster and eat several heartless and now he can’t eat at all. What do I do?_ He left out a hefty sigh. There was no sense in prolonging the inevitable.

He opened the door and bowed in respect as he reached Yen Sid’s desk.

“What brings you here, Riku?” he asked in his normal deep and neutral voice. Though, Riku knew that would change the second he lifted his head, revealing the truth in his eyes.

He swallowed. “Master Yen Sid, I have come here needing your help. I don’t know who else to turn to.” It felt so strange to say that out loud, considering he normally turned to Sora or Mickey when his heart was troubled. But with his lips sewn shut by his own lies, he felt like he couldn’t face the King. He wasn’t even sure he would act in this situation. Not that he would be any less loving or caring, but Sora’s condition scared Riku so severely, he had this growing selfishness to preserve Sora in all ways possible.

Upon hearing no response from Yen Sid, Riku lifted his head. “Please,” he said.

“What ails you?”

“It’s…” _Just say it._ He felt like something was pulling his tongue down into his stomach. “Do you know if there are any side effects to returning to your human form after becoming a heartless?”

Yen Sid’s expression shifted slightly into a puzzled gaze. He rested a hand on his beard as he said, “Is this about Xehanort?”

Riku shook his head but kept quiet. Why couldn’t he say Sora’s name? It was as if it was stolen.

Not that Riku’s hesitant silence mattered because it seemed like a light bulb went off above Yen Sid’s head. He remained calm and neutral though, which flooded Riku’s head with a sense of restlessness instead of ease.

“I see,” he began, “I can imagine there would be some residing darkness in the heart—a scar if you will. Would you agree that Xehanort’s heartless left a similar mark on you?”

Riku lifted his hand to his chest, feeling the echoes of his heartbeat against his fingers. “Yes,” he said.

“While turning into a heartless and undergoing possession have a multitude of differences, there is no denying the injuries they both leave on the heart. Ones that might still be open, leaving it vulnerable for more darkness to enter.” He paused and looked Riku in the eyes. “I won’t force you to say it, but you and I both know who this is about.”

“Yes…”

“I feared this might happen.”

“You did?”

Yen Sid nodded. “Sora has always been so tethered to the light, so I thought by granting him an outlet to control his light in moderation, it would serve him well. However, he started being able to use this power a little _too_ well. Once darkness scorches a heart, the light gives it an opportunity to grow. The brighter the light, the larger the shadow becomes. If it isn’t dealt with properly right away, then no time is given for the wound to heal.”

Riku understood. His own wounds were torn open time and time again as he fought with Ansem. Sora must have gone too long ignoring his darkness, believing that if he just continuously used the powers of light, it would fade naturally.

“Riku,” he said, “how bad is Sora’s condition?”

He gulped as images of the heartless-devouring monster and Sora’s limp body flashed back and forth in his mind. He curled his fingers around his shoulder where the bite mark was. “He’s losing this fight,” he said. “I can feel it.”

Without a word, Yen Sid hastily made his way to a bookshelf in the corner of the room and pulled out a large book. He flipped through it before putting it back and grabbing another one. Riku watched him cycle through a plethora of books in a blink of an eye.

Then, he finally said, “I don’t believe this is a situation that calls for him to conquer his own darkness. He needs help extracting just the right amount of it. Enough that the wound can heal, but not too much that it breaks his heart in half. It is a part of him after all.” He approached Riku and placed his hands on his shoulders, which made him want to cringe from the pain, but he resisted with all his strength.

“Riku, I place my full trust in you, but you cannot hide Sora. It might be best to take him to see Ansem the Wise. He should be able to scan his heart and provide you with enough information on this darkness, so you may properly deal with it.”

Riku had hoped it wouldn’t have come to this, which is why he didn’t go to DiZ in the first place. He had grown to trust the man for helping wake Sora up, but one of Riku’s biggest fears instantly overtook his thoughts. Seeing Sora in that pod… He wasn’t strong enough to go through that again. 

Reluctantly, Riku said, “I understand. Thank you for your help.” He bowed again before heading towards the door.

However, as he grabbed the handle, he heard Yen Sid say, “If Sora truly is losing this fight, then proceed with the utmost care and caution. One wrong move could damage his heart beyond repair. Possibly even destroy it.”

He didn’t—he _couldn’t_ —respond to that statement. The idea of Sora permanently transforming into a beast alone was too hard to bare, let alone something unimaginably worse happening to his heart. He couldn’t let that happen. He was going to pull Sora out of this, no matter the cost.

***

The single drop of blood lingered in his mouth, filling his dreams with a strange entity of darkness trapped behind a mirror. When Sora gazed into it, the creature didn’t reflect his movements as mirrors should do. Instead, as if there were some invisible strings attached to every joint in his body, he found himself forcefully mimicking the shadow figure. It didn’t matter how hard he fought back, he couldn’t even so much as blink unless the monster granted him permission through its own actions.

Sora watched and followed dutifully as its head tilted slightly. Its hypnotic, yellow eyes stared deeply into Sora’s soul, burning holes straight through him.

It opened its mouth, revealing sharp fangs that looked like they belonged on a deformed animal. “ _Aren’t you hungry?_ ” Sora heard himself say in unison with the reflection, its own demonic voice overlapping his.

“ _Because I am._ ”

“ _I’m starving._ ”

Sora couldn’t stop the words from flooding out of his mouth nor could he block them from penetrating his ears.

“ _I know what will satisfy me_.”

“ _There’s no reason to be scared of it._ ”

Sora began to feel his voice, his consciousness, give into the temptation of the shadow’s irresistible words. His attempts at fighting these spellbinding whispers were short lived and futile. He felt himself longing to fade back into the sweet daze. He… He wanted this. Every muscle in his body ached for this.

His hand lifted to the mirror and touched its surface. Black smoke came bursting from where their hands met and Sora was dragged straight into the abyss that was his own reflection.

***

Riku returned to the small home that the Restoration Committee was lending to Sora and himself. While he didn’t know Leon and the others very well, he appreciated their kindness. Especially in times such as these where it was important for Sora to have a trustworthy and comfortable place to rest. Though, to his dismay, there was a loud crashing sound coming from Sora’s bedroom.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Riku bolted towards the source and flung the door wide open. He could instantly feel the dread in the air as the old master’s warning repeated in his head like a broken record, its echo damaging his skull.

Claws marks etched nearly every surface imaginable, leaving the room completely torn to shreds. A breeze made its way into the room through a broken window. Riku inched closer to it, only to hear crunching glass beneath his feet. When he looked down, he noticed something unusual about the shards. Blood.

Small droplets of red stained them, which meant whatever shattered the window did so with its body, rather than an object. His nervous heart hiccupped in its beating as he tried to push the obvious answers towards the back of his mind.

Nothing attacked Sora, which under normal circumstances, would be an easing thought. But his fears overflowed knowing that _thing_ was set loose again, damaging the world and more importantly, Sora’s heart. At the time, Riku didn’t think he would be gone long enough for danger to knock on Sora’s door. But now, he hated himself for leaving him behind like that, believing everything would be fine despite clearly seeing how weak and vulnerable Sora was. His frail state of mind and body was left to be easily manipulated by the darkness.

But Riku didn’t have time to sit here and torture himself with his mistakes. He needed to find Sora and free him from this rampaging corruption.

Following the only trail he had, he used his keyblade to break away any of the remaining glass stuck to the frame before jumping out the window. They were very small, but beads of blood splattered all the way down the concrete sidewalk, which gave him a direct path to his target. Thinking of Sora that way… a target. It made him sick. He was going to fix this. He _had_ to fix this.

He quickly found himself in an alleyway, one that grew from dim to pitch black as he looked further down. It appeared empty at first glance, but Riku knew the shadows painting the ground and the walls were far too dark to be natural.

He took slow steps as he raised his keyblade into position. His brows furrowed as he took slow, cautious steps forward. Despite trying to be as quiet as possible, it was so deadly silent, he was left alone with the echoes of his footsteps and breathing.

Then, he heard the familiar earth-distorting noise of a pureblood rising from the ground, materializing into a solid mass. He didn’t move. He watched it carefully as it twitched in place, its claws itching to attack him. Riku knew what was to come next, all he had to do was be patient.

As the shadow leaped forward, the presence hiding in the back of the alley launched itself forward and grabbed the creature in the flash of an eye. His chance had come. Riku swung his keyblade in an uppercut, knocking the shadow upwards. Before the presence had time to react, Riku slashed in a circle motion, taking out the heartless. He heard a salivating snarl from the darkness followed by the same vile chewing sounds from before. Whatever other heartless that hid back there had probably met their horrific demise. 

“I know you’re here,” Riku said, taking one step forward only to hear the growls increase rapidly. “Don’t let it overtake you, Sora.”

Out of the abyss rushed out the monster that was holding Sora’s being hostage. He bore his claws and tackled Riku to the ground. He lifted his keyblade in front of his face just in time, pushing against the blade with both his hands to keep the beast at bay. Sora snapped his jaw, the ink-like substance from his previous meal dripping from his teeth. He bit viciously down on the weapon before screaming out in pain. Riku reluctantly used his friend’s pain to his advantage and kicked up with both his legs, making Sora fly off him and into the wall. He let out a high-pitched cry before rolling back onto all fours.

Riku shot himself back onto his feet and held out his free hand, ready to either make contact with Sora to tame him or make a barrier to protect himself. Sora continued to make low, snarling noises through gritted teeth all the while his head was jerking in all directions.

“Sora,” Riku said, “I know you’re in there.” As the words split from his mouth, he hoped it would calm him down, but it did quite the opposite. Sora began to tremble as his berserk behavior grew in strength.

He attacked him once again, only this time going for Riku’s legs. More prepared this time, he called for his barrier. Sora bounced right off it, only to leap on top of it, not willing to give up. He began to scratch and pound at it with full force until cracks formed. Riku’s eyes widened as the sphere shattered and the beast fell on him. Without hesitation, Sora bit straight into Riku’s arm. His teeth sank deep into Riku’s skin and the strength of his jaw was like a bear trap.

Riku didn’t want to cut Sora down—he would rather die himself than hurt him like that—but remembering how even the touch of the keyblade was enough to get Sora to back down, he jammed it straight into Sora’s side like a branding iron.

Sora’s scream was enough to make Riku’s eardrums bleed and his bones rattle. The screech was so unbearably loud that he could feel Sora’s pain vibrate through him. Sora fell off him and onto the ground, where he squirmed as Riku watched his shadowy-skin bubble like it had just been set on fire.

Riku panicked, not knowing what else to do, he dashed forward and pinned Sora down. He cried and wept in his disfigured, animalistic-voice. Riku’s guilt was strong enough to make him feel physically sick. It took nearly all his strength to keep his stomach from crawling up his throat. Not being able to take the mixture of starved growls and harrowing whimpers anymore, Riku flipped his keyblade around and used the bluntness of the handle to knock Sora out. And unlike before, the shadows didn’t leave Sora’s body.

The sudden silence that came right as Riku dealt the blow made him freeze. It was as if he snapped out of reality for that brief moment, wanting everything to just stop, even if it was only for a second. What had he done?

***

Riku’s right arm looked like it had been put through a paper shredder, tearing apart several layers of skin. Blood dripped down his arm and his muscles were left open and raw to the muggy air surrounding them, making it sting. He did his best with a makeshift bandage from his torn clothing, it wasn’t the best, but at least it helped with the bleeding. He tried to cast cure on it, but sadly, he never had the talent for it. Mickey gave him lessons on magic more than once, and even though everything else came to him with a natural vigor, cure was the one spell he could never quite get down.

Sora could create the most stunning blossoms without even batting an eyelash, healing every nick and scrape the petals kissed. Meanwhile, Riku could only manage to produce a bud that worked as a mediocre painkiller. He was better off sticking to potions, which was something he regretted not carrying with him today.

He could vaguely recall the castle that used to stand tall in Radiant Garden, and it was all thanks to the time he spent possessed. Just as Ansem peeked into his memories, Riku was able to do the same, even though it wasn’t necessarily by choice. He hated seeing snippets of that man’s time as a “scientist,” experimenting on live humans and watching their hearts collapse in on themselves without feeling a smidge of remorse for it all. In fact, Riku recalled the feeling of entertainment that bounced around in Ansem’s blackened heart as he witnessed the slow and painful transformations of his victims.

A cold shiver ran down his spine as he tried to shake the memory out of his head. Despite the sickening things Riku unwillingly witnessed through his possessor, at least he knew just how secure these cages were that once held those test subjects and their screams. They were all hidden deep in the basement of the castle and by the looks of it, nobody had touched the place in years. Here, Sora would be safe.

He opened one of the cages and he walked inside. He leaned down so he could gently place Sora on the ground from his back without dropping him. He then backed out of the cage, shut the door, and locked it with his keyblade. Now, all he had to do was wait.

He sat down and pulled his face close to his knees, wrapping his arms around his legs. It didn’t take long for Sora to wake up, nor did it take him long to spring into action. He jumped at Riku, being stopped at the metallic bars that separated them. Sora growled and reached his claw out of the cage, swiping towards Riku.

Riku watched him with a blank expression as he began gnawing on the bars. All he could manage to say was, “I’m sorry.”

Ages seemed to pass before Sora wore himself down with all the sheer amount of energy spent trying to rip the cage apart. Riku even tried to go inside there himself to calm him down, but each attempt ended in failure covered in blood. Sora wouldn’t just try to attack Riku, he would clamp his teeth down on his flesh and gnaw massive holes into Riku. And it didn’t take Riku long to notice a consistent pattern—Sora was aiming at his chest, or more specifically, his heart. He would prepare his claws like drills ready to dig to the jewel at the center.

It surprised Riku how fast Sora could move in this form. Before all this, Riku thought he had quick reflexes, but the amount of times his arms, his sides, and even his neck had been bitten and scratched up proved how wrong he was. Thankfully, he was able to find some proper bandages after reluctant exploration of the castle’s basement.

It was dark and dust covered the area like a light layer of fallen snow that never melted. He could see every move he made, everything he touched. Nothing prevailed in comforting him for every cage and piece of machinery emitted the foul stench of human torment. There was one thing that caught his eye—a heart monitor. It was a large computer spilling out tubes and wires that led directly to a containment unit.

At the time, he turned and ran from it. The past flashed so quickly through his thoughts and he couldn’t bare it any longer than the second it lingered there. However, sitting here now, dressing his wounds and watching Sora lose the will to keep fighting his way through the cage, it was obvious what he needed to do. He just couldn’t do it.

Riku watched Sora slowly fade back into slumber in an almost tranquilizing way. Once he was out, the shadows began to swirl towards Sora’s chest, sucking themselves right in through his ribs and towards his heart. While his physical appearance returned to normal, Riku knew Sora had given into the darkness—letting it fully collapse into his heart. Maybe if Riku hadn’t been so forceful, so scared, then Sora would have stood a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I am not entirely sure what part of the KH timeline this takes place? It's kind of in a weird space between KH2 and KH3, using elements from both plots. I just wanted to be as free with this as possible haha. XD


	4. Corrupted Elixir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Update? More likely than you think.
> 
> Thanks to everyone for being so patient! I have been bouncing around a lot of fic and AU ideas recently, and I ended up hitting a weird writer's block. I am still pushing through it, but hopefully the next chapter won't take as long to post. I have also decided the fic will be a total of five chapters, so it's close to be finished!! 
> 
> And thank you all SO MUCH for the 900+ hits!! That just warms my heart so much and I am glad you all seem to be enjoying this!!

Sora’s stomach clenched painfully as a burning knot pinched his side. Flat and cold mental poked pressure against his bones, which only added to the strain that was forcing him awake. He wished his sleep had never come to an end, allowing him to continue his blissful ignorance of the aching agony. It wasn’t the same as before either. It was so much worse.

He groaned, forcing his eyes open. His sight was covered in a blurry fog and the details of the world seemed to blend in with larger background colors, making it close to impossible to make out anything. It didn’t help that the lighting was so dim it might as well have been nonexistent. However, he was able to catch a glimmer of silver and he immediately reached towards it.

“Riku—” he called out only to have an intense stinging sensation reverberate through him, causing him to fall right back down to the cold floor. His body moved on its own, curling into a ball as his hands clutched the source of it all. His breath was uneven and shaking as he reached his trembling hands down towards the corner of his shirt. He lifted the fabric up to find there was nothing there. No injury, no wound, no mark.

What was this phantom pain? It was as if something had crawled beneath his skin and was tormenting his muscles from the inside. Salt water stung his eyes as he tried to hold back the tears. He squeezed shut one of his eyelids and he found the other one gluing its gaze on the horrific claw marks that surrounded him.

A short cry burst from his lips out of sheer fear and panic. His body temporarily ignored its pain as he scrambled backwards until his back hit something hard. He darted his gaze to the side to find large bars blocking his path.

He felt his anxiety start to suffocate him as the realization hit him. The cage was rather large, but this didn’t stop him from feeling like the walls were closing in on him. Sora was also having a difficult time seeing into the shadows on the other side. It was there, he was certain that a monster was lurking. 

“R-Riku!” Sora cried out again. He wasn’t safe. He needed Riku, and yet, there he stayed. Out of reach.

He shifted his eyes back and forth between the shadows and Riku, afraid of what might attack him if he turned away. But when he caught sight of Riku’s expression, he felt his heart drop like a stone into his stomach acid. It was a twisted mixture of guilt and enmity—one that was avoiding Sora at all costs. He sat against the wall and even though it looked casual at first, nothing about his posture felt comforting. He had his keyblade in hand and his fingers coiled around the handle like a snake around its prey—ready to kill at a moment’s notice by the slightest provocation. 

Sora then crawled his way towards the front of the cage, cautious and slow. The pain still jabbed at him like needles as he moved, but he was too terrified to turn his back for too long. But he had to, just for a moment, so he could look at his only sense of safety.

“What’s going on?” Sora asked, stuttering.

Riku didn’t answer, but his eyes pulled themselves away from his blade and towards Sora. The glance he gave him made the room turn to ice. Not in rage or hatred, but in complete remorse.

Sora pulled himself to his feet and grabbed the bars. “Please, say something!” he said.

A heavy sigh slipped off Riku’s lips and carried itself into Sora’s chest. “I’m sorry,” he said. His hesitant words lugged around the weight of the world and they speared straight through Sora’s body. It hurt deeply to hear Riku fall apart so suddenly, so quickly.

“Riku please!” A stream began rushing its way down his cheeks and to the tip of his chin. He couldn’t stop the flow for his heart drummed so violently, it was beginning to break like dry clay. “Let me out!”

Silence.

“I’m so scared, Riku! Why am I in here?” He could feel it. He could feel the darkness creeping its way towards him like death.

Riku’s expression broke and he slammed his eyes shut, turning his head away from Sora. “I can’t do that,” he said. “I can’t let you out, no matter how much I _want_ to.”

The monster—it was getting closer. He could hear it slither across the ground, closing the distance between them. And with every inch taken, the dizzier and hungrier Sora became.

He was paralyzed, his body not only refused to move, but accepted the presence with every ounce of his energy, even though he was screaming on the inside for it to stop. It crawled up his flesh like a hoard of spiders, consuming his flesh. His body temperature began to harshly drop and rise in a brisk and uncontrollable manner. Back and forth, back and forth. He was losing focus, feeling as though a drug was being pumped into his veins.

Fear completely took over and rattled around in his skull. The monster was going to kill him. Why wasn’t Riku doing anything? Why was he just carrying on talking as if nothing was attacking him?

“I’m scared too, Sora,” he said, but he heard his words duplicate and interrupt each other in a delayed manner. The individual words reached his ears, but nothing made sense.

He wanted out. He _needed_ out. “I SAID LET ME OUT!” he screamed, rattling the bars. The voice that exploded from his throat sounded like it belonged to that of a demon, one that had lost control of his heart, body, and mind all at once, allowing it all to lash out in one fell swoop. It was angry and foul, enough so that Riku jumped to his feet the second the sound boomed through the room, pointing his keyblade directly towards the cage.

Then, his energy instantaneously drained from his body; making his eyes roll to the back of his head as he fell to the floor, barely grasping consciousness.

“What’s…” Sora said through coughs and heavy, uneven breaths, “happening to… me?”

Riku finally stepped forward and kneeled down next to the cage. His eyebrows curved upwards as he gave him a pitiful glance. “I—” Riku started before averting eye contract to instead look down at the floor. He pressed his lips together in a tight frown as he crammed his eyes shut. Sora could tell there was a galaxy worth of thoughts rushing through Riku’s head like falling stars, unable to catch any of them. But nearly each of Sora’s thoughts were overridden by a single word:

_Devour_.

Oh, how so desperate he was for food. Even the burning irritation in his side was being engulfed by that single feeling—that _need_ to consume. His eyes began to scan Riku’s body, noticing that his mouth was moving, but he couldn’t hear any of the words that might have been stumbling out of his mouth. All he could hear was the sound of a heartbeat. At first, he thought it might have been his own, but when his gaze landed on Riku’s chest, he realized what the true source was. He could see his heart pounding through the muscle and bone.

His bottom lip quivered, mouth watering with pure gluttonous excitement. His eyes dilated and before he could even comprehend what he was doing, he lurched forward and grabbed onto Riku’s shirt through the cage’s openings. However, Riku’s body didn’t flinch with shock, almost as if he was expecting this. He remained still and his expression neutral. It was then, being so close to Riku, Sora noticed the neat white wrappings that decorated his body. Upon seeing this, his mind wiped itself clean, making him forget all that he wanted.

His eyes widened. The shirt slipped from his grasp and he slowly moved himself back into the cage. “I don’t know what came over me, I—” he said. “I’m just… so hungry.”

“I know,” Riku said. “I can’t let you out.”

“Riku,” he said brokenly, “I need—”

Before he could finish that sentence, Riku stood abruptly and said, “I’ll go fetch you some food.” Without looking back, Riku walked towards the exit, leaving him behind with nothing but the echoes of the door shutting.

***

Riku clutched his chest, balling his shirt with his fist. Sora’s feverish outbursts made his thoughts fall into a grim void. His mind had been wandering in a twilight where the overcast clouds suffocated the color out of the sky. And it was all thanks to his lies and that damn machine.

He knew how remarkably selfish he was. He kept the truth to himself to protect Sora’s smile, but the cruel irony was Riku had seen Sora so broken, it had painted over his memory’s image of that delightful grin like ink on watercolor. He somberly chuckled to himself at the karma the universe had in place for him.

He made his way back to the surface of the town, ensuring the path he took was hidden and secure. He couldn’t have anyone finding that place. Both for Sora’s sake and everyone else’s.

Going to the market all by himself made him feel so out of place. With Sora at his side, everything seemed to be easier since he was so open and friendly with everyone—it helped that he seemed to _know_ everyone too. There used to be bright, glimmering grins all to greet them as they stopped by, but now, all he received were questionable glances as he kept his hood up. His injuries didn’t help stop the flow of attention moving towards him.

He ended up buying as much food as he could, in vast variety too. Though, a small voice in the back of his mind told him it wouldn’t matter what kind of food it was, it probably wasn’t going to sit well with Sora anyway.

His memory evoked the first incident unwillingly into his mind. He knew what Sora _could_ eat. There were plenty still lingering around the town and Sora was growing to be so thin… Riku was practically torturing him by trying to feed him what he could no longer digest.

No. No! He couldn’t. If he gave the monster what it wanted, then things would only get worse. He shook his head viciously, trying to get rid of that horrid idea out of his system. But it was either that… or shoving him into that pod.

His eyes flickered towards one of the shop windows. On display were nearly a dozen various birds, all colored exotically and chirping their little songs. But Riku couldn’t focus on the beauty of their feathers, no. He kept himself locked onto the cages they were trapped in. So many sizes and they looked sturdy too. It made him wonder what else they sold. They would be perfect for trapping something small.

He released a long breath, balling his fists so tightly around the bag’s handle, his nails were digging deep into his palm. Why was every choice he had to make to help Sora also deeply hurt both of them?

***

Sora would have sat in the corner of the cage curled into a weeping mess if it weren’t for the voice that kept chiming in his head. It was such a strange sound—so harmonious and inviting, yet cold and relentless. He tried to fill himself with thoughts to try to drown the voice out, but the only thing that came to mind was Riku. Those bandages… Nearly every inch of his bare skin was replaced with them. There was one injury in particular that stuck out to him: his neck.

Something about it drew him in. He wanted to unravel the cloth and see what marks lie underneath it. It was such a pleasuring thought to him, it made his stomach growl with anticipation.

_Nothing ever did taste quite as good as his blood… What would his heart—_

Then, like a pulled back rubber band, he snapped out of it. He slapped his cheeks as hard as he could, leaving them red and swelling. Was _he_ the one that inflicted that pain on Riku? Sora couldn’t fathom why he would lock him in here otherwise. He then shifted his gaze downwards as he put a hand over his belly. He was really losing it, wasn’t he?

He inhaled air sharply and held it in, letting it sit in his lungs until it went stale. He then released it all through his nose in one long exhale, hoping this would give him a purifying feeling, even if it was only temporary.

He turned himself, looking towards the shadows once more. “There is nothing there,” Sora said to himself on repeat in a low whisper as he faced the lining of the cage. It didn’t help that Riku was taking so long. He just wanted him by his side—he just wanted to feel safe. 

Trying to keep himself distracted, Sora reached his arm outside and began to draw pictures in the dust. He ran his finger in loops, making a simple flower to start with. He wished he could go outside and smell the fresh air. What he wouldn’t give to smell the flowers they had been planting around town.

He kept scribbling, dust sticking to his finger and forming large clumps as he drew. It seemed to be working in his benefit for he allowed his mind to wander with the lines. The more he created, the more he erased from his thoughts. However, it reached the point where he wasn’t sure what he was doodling anymore. Everything around him began to blur and his heart thumped like someone constantly knocking at a door. Why couldn’t he focus? Why did everything make his head spin and his vision swirl?

He shook his heavy head and blinked rapidly, trying to stay aware of himself. Once he did though, his entire body flew into shock at what was on the floor.

A dying echo from his dream reached him as he stared, the panic boiling in his veins.

_I know what will satisfy me._

In the dust laid what seemed to be a dozen small hearts all surrounding one big one. “No, no, no,” he said to himself, clutching his head tightly.

_Why are you holding back? Aren’t you hungry?_

He weaved his fingers through his hair, digging his nails into his scalp. It was him! It had to be him. Why couldn’t he remember anything? No matter how viciously he dug through his own memories, dark splotches of blackness obscured his goal.

They were fighting heartless, then suddenly, everything was over.

They were trying to eat a meal, then suddenly, he was keeling over a bucket.

They were arguing, then suddenly, he woke up in a cage.

Every time he thought about his hunger, he would slip out of all control. The most threatening part about this greedy dizziness is that he enjoyed it to some extent. Gravity would just sink down on him and something else would just take the reins, filling him with all the desires he craved. And he wanted to taste Riku’s beating heart. 

There truly was a monster hiding out of Sora’s sight, but it was not in shadows like he convinced himself it was.

Deep down, he knew this all along, but he didn’t want to accept it, especially since Riku wouldn’t. It angered him that Riku would lie to him. The idea of Riku rejecting him _broke_ him. But worst of all, his own pretending spiraled him straight down into the beast’s fangs. Now, he needed a way to escape this darkness, but the hunger prevented him from doing so.

Maybe, just maybe, there was a way for him to stop the starvation and his suffering for long enough that he could face himself without giving into the trance. Even though the darkness was so comforting and there was a chance he might never again feel gratified, he needed to cut the connection. A single moment was all he needed.

He took a deep breath. There was only one spell that came to mind for the job and the last time he used it, it hurt when it wasn’t supposed to. It presented him with the precise feeling that lead him directly down this path right into his monster’s clutches, but at the same time, it weakened whatever was inside him. A double-edged sword might have not been the best choice for battle, but it was the _only_ choice.

He summoned his keyblade, its rays of light encompassing his hand, only to burn it like he touched the sun. He screamed out in pain as he dropped the key, the clattering vibrated under his feet. He clasped his hand and pulled it close to his chest. Slowly, he opened his palm to see the wound, but nearly as quick as his skin seethed with red, it all vanished. The markings seeped into his pores, leaving behind nothing but the pain. It was just like his side from when he woke up.

He growled in an intense and spiteful determination—if the injury wasn’t real, then neither was the pain. It was all in his head. It was that damn monster trying to keep him away from the light, corralling Sora back to the darkness.

He leaned down and tried to pick up the keyblade, but it hurt even before he could grab the handle. It was like a hot furnace, leaking heat into the air around and singeing any fingertips that dare inch towards it. There was no point in picking it up. He straightened himself before snapping out his hand in front of him. He closed his eyes, waiting in agonizing anticipation of the summon. The second the weapon flashed off the floor and back into his grasp, he released a long groan through gritted teeth. Every nerve in his body was not going to let him hold onto it, which forced it back down to the metal ground.

He tried again.

The pain wasn’t real. The pain didn’t matter.

And again.

He could feel his vocal cords snap like overused guitar strings from his screaming.

And again.

The pain wasn’t _real_. The pain didn’t _matter_.

And _again_.

“SORA!”

He heard something heavy drop to the floor, followed by the sound of padlock clicking open. The cage door swung open and Riku grabbed his wrists, pulling him away from the keyblade and towards him.

He shook him fiercely as he yelled, “What are you doing?” Riku’s bottom lip quivered as he breathed in a panic, his eyes wide.

Sora’s eyes darted so quickly back and forth between the keyblade and Riku it was making him light-headed. His eyes eventually locked onto Riku, his violent expression slowly scrunching into a tearful frightened one.

“What _am_ I?” he asked, his breath shaking and shallow.

Riku shook his head in a stuttering and short motion, blinking rapidly in a fearful way. “You’re—”

“Am I a monster?” Sora said, the dam behind his eyes finally breaking loose.

“No… No. You’re still you. You’re still Sora.”

Sora looked deep into his eyes and there was something behind Riku’s expression that spoke otherwise. He wanted to believe Riku, more than anything, but it was so clear how horrified he was of Sora.

Sora nodded his head and looked to the floor. He couldn’t bare to face the truth anymore. He sobbed, small hiccups and sniffles escaping him.

He felt Riku release his wrists, only to firmly grasp his biceps instead. He rubbed his thumbs in soothing circles as he spoke. “I made a mistake. More than one. And I can’t take them back, but I assure you—” he paused, tightening his grip. “Please, I need you to look at me, Sora.”

Hesitantly, Sora blinked upwards, his eyes pooling with tears. The willpower that possessed Riku’s expression made Sora’s entire body shiver. Sora had been wrong. The terror those teal eyes was no lie, but it wasn’t out of hostility, it was out devoted concern.

Riku continued, “I assure you, Sora, that I _will_ fix my mistakes. Do you trust me?”

Sora remained silent for a moment, his eyes wide as he lost himself in Riku’s gaze. But slowly, Sora nodded and a hint of a smile crept onto his lips. “Yes,” he said, nodding faster. “Yes. Yes, more than anything in the world, Riku.” He scrunched his eyebrows upwards as his grin grew in size. It was almost painful to smile again, but it was a good kind of pain. Like stretching out muscles that hadn’t been used in ages.

Riku returned the loving smile, pulling Sora into a hug. But once Sora was buried into Riku’s shoulder, his expression dropped. He could feel his heartbeat again, so smooth and powerful, just calling to him.

_Take it while you can._

Sora pushed away, breathing heavily. “Please,” he said.

Riku looked pained, but he nodded. He grabbed onto Sora’s hand and said, “This way. I… I have an idea.”

Sora didn’t like the way his voice rattled as he spoke, but he knew whatever Riku had planned was going to help fix him. Even if it hurt, even if it was scary, he would endure it.

As he was led down a poorly lit corridor, Sora did everything in his power to push any thoughts of Riku’s heart out of his mind. His eyes bounced back and forth around his surroundings, making sure to avoid Riku at all costs. But he wanted to look. He wanted to stare at Riku’s back, at his neck.

He wasn’t sure if that was the monster talking or himself.

He swallowed, feeling a glob of thick saliva slink down his throat only to have more produce under his tongue. He could barely keep it all in his mouth. The ropes were becoming unbound, he could feel the shadows crawl their way out of the cracks in his heart and into his veins. He had to stop it.

He bit down as hard as he could on his own lip, digging his canines down into the flesh to puncture holes. The pain would keep him awake and aware. He couldn’t allow the voice to charm him into a heavy slumber.

Then, both of them jumped at the unexpected noise of metal snapping. It came from behind them and it echoed all the way down the chamber, the noise encompassing their surroundings until it faded. Sora shot Riku a worried glance, but Riku didn’t return it. He didn’t even look at Sora. His faced was tinged with a pale panic as he kept staring down the path they just walked.

“What is it?” Sora whispered, tightening his grip around Riku’s hand.

Before his answer could ever reach Sora’s ears, he saw it. A small Hook Bat flew towards them from the darkness, a thin piece of silver painted metal dropping out of its mouth as it readied itself to attack. 

Sora’s mind completely shut off like a computer suddenly rebooted as he dashed towards it. Even though he had no aid from the keyblade, claws, or sharp teeth to destroy this bat, with the sheer force of desire, he was able to rip its wings off like paper. He pinned the squealing thing to the ground as his pupils grew dark and wide, overtaking the blue in his eyes. His lips quivered as he clutched its small face while using the other hand to grasp its hook tail. Then, he pulled.

The horrid high-pitched shrieking that came out of that thing was enough to make someone’s ears bleed. It continued its cry as its flesh ripped apart like individual strings on a wet cloth, the empty hallway capturing every detail of the sound. But Sora didn’t care to listen. 

The screams abruptly stopped when Sora’s prize burst violently out of it and Sora did not hesitate to claim it. He jerked his body forward with his mouth open widely, allowing the crystal to float directly into his mouth. Crushing down on it with one bite, the heart cracked around its edges. A single drop of its corrupted elixir oozing onto his tongue was enough to send his body into a complete intoxication. He lost all sense of patience and swallowed the rest whole, feeling it scrape the inside of his throat like cat claws to drapes. While the pain was present, the feeling itself was the best sensation in the world because at least he was feeling _something_.

He could hear something behind him, but the words floated right through him for his body was ignoring everything except for the satisfaction.

_More._

_More._

_More._

“More.”

Sora’s eyes widened as he wiped the residue dripping from his lips.

“I need more…”

***

Riku’s back hit the ground so hard he felt his entire body numb for a second. But once that second was over, an electrocuting shock of pain struck in every cell of his body. He huffed and coughed as another force crashed straight into his sternum.

Sora’s palm was pressing into him with all his weight, holding Riku down. Riku grabbed ahold of Sora’s wrist with both hands and tried to pull upwards, but he wasn’t budging. Instead, Sora’s fingers began to slowly curl, wrinkling his shirt and tugging on the skin underneath, stretching it out as Sora forced it to clump in the center.

It burned as the fabric rubbed against straining skin. He let out a hiss as he squeezed his eyes tight. “S-Sora!” Riku coughed out. He forced one eye open and saw Sora. Just Sora. He wasn’t being taken over by like before, but this still felt all too familiar to Riku. He could tell by Sora’s rabid expression that the darkness worked its way like molten lava, melting down everything before hardening and melding everything together.

Sora’s hand was now in a fist and Riku felt a fine layer of his flesh rip a little bit. Sora then pulled upwards, ripping a decent hole in Riku’s shirt. Sora’s blackened eyes locked onto the pooling droplets of blood on Riku’s bare chest.

Sora leaned in closer, salvia dripping from the corner of his mouth so rapidly that it fell onto Riku. He was breathing heavily as he revealed his teeth. There seemed to be this small sense of hesitation, but Riku couldn’t figure out if Sora was trying to hold himself back or if he was trying to savior his meal.

“Sora!” Riku shouted.

His teeth were now dragging across his chest, causing more flesh to break open. Riku knew his blood was singing to Sora’s desires for he began to swallow whatever latched onto his tongue.

“Sora, you’re still you!” he said.

Sora then bit down with full force and Riku cringed. He tried to get his heart to stop pounding furiously because he knew that was only drawing Sora’s attention more and more, but he couldn’t get his body to calm down.

Riku didn’t want to hurt him again, so instead, he wrapped his arms around Sora’s neck and back, pulling him closer. He was still biting down, but part of his body squirmed, wanting a release.

“Shh,” Riku said, swallowing all the pain stinging him. “You’re still you. You’re still you, Sora.” He repeated those words as many times as it took until Sora’s body grew limp and his teeth lifted from his flesh.

Riku heard a soft sobbing before Sora pushed his way out of the hug. Sora scrambled backwards, trying to stand on his feet and failing. Riku pulled himself up into a sitting position and made a sympathetic expression. “You’re still you.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Sora said, brokenly.

“I know you didn’t.”

Sora beat Riku to the chase and got on his feet first and bolted down the hall. Riku, despite his back screaming at him to stay down, got up and ran after him. Though, Riku went cold when he saw Sora curled up in a ball in the corner of the cage. The door was shut and he got the frightening feeling that Sora would have locked it if he could summon his keyblade.

“So—”

“Did I give you those wounds?” Sora asked as he pointed at the bandages. “ _I_ did that to you, didn’t I?”

Riku took a step forward towards the cage and Sora flinched. “No,” he said.

“Stop lying!” Sora said.

“I am _not_ lying! That _thing_ that has been eating away at you from the inside out _isn’t_ you! _You_ didn’t do this!”

Riku then approached the door of the cage, wrapping his fingers around the bars, but before he pulled them forward, Sora screamed, “No! Please! Don’t come near me!”

“Sora—”

“Bring me more…” he said. Riku froze and his eyes went wide. “Please… It’ll keep me from hurting you…”

Riku’s hands slowly let go and fell limp to his side. Whatever beast Sora had been holding back Riku had set running free. One by one, his mistakes were forming like blood clots in his arteries, swelling and tightening his struggling heart.

As Riku stiffly walked towards the broken bird cage he had so foolish bought, he said under his breath, “I know who you are.” He picked up the pieces, knowing he could fix it. That it could still be of use. “I promise I’ll set you free.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a big thanks to Aqua for giving me the idea involving Sora's keyblade!! The light hurting Sora really helped so much when it came to brainstorming ideas for this fic!!


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